Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a fox? An eaten chicken.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Why was Blue looking for her clue. She was drugged by a stranger and ended up inside of Mailbox.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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2 sheeps are outside having a great time One sheep walks up to the other sheep and says: hello The other sheep says: hello Now what I want to know: what ally do you get your drugs from

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Moral

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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whats the best part of having sex with twenty-three year olds? there's twenty of them.

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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a man walks into a bar some other people get up and greet him as they are his friends. he then has a great night with his friends. he goes home and goes to sleep. he wakes up with a man next to him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops