what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the black girls wear fancy clothes to the mall? Public nudity is considered a crime in many parts of the world. It would be advisable to wear clothes in public areas, so as to avoid being arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars...except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops