how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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How do the american stop getting fat ? They don't.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? (NO) Neither have I!

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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Friends are like potatoes - when you eat them they die.

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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A black man, a Rabbi, a circus clown, a soldier and the Pope all walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops