Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man, a Pakistani and Jew sit at a bar. It's great to see such a cosmopolitan community.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and the killing of 12 other numbers

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do u call a bunch of black dudes burried from their necks down? Afro-turf

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's the capital of Ohio A: O

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder from your house and kindly help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do I hate food? I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops