The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? I eat pizza.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Don't make jokes about the Holocaust. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off a watchtower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

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roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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