Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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why is six afraid of seven? because six is a rapist

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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