a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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A woman wearing a very fancy, striped sweater walks into a bar and sits down. The bar tender asks her “what’ll it be”?. The girl replies “Just a beer for me”. As this happens a child in Africa dies from complications due to starvation.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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How many times has Susie fallen off the swing? Not enough.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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What do gay cows eat? Grass.

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What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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My period is red, Your sauce is white, now pull down your pants and let me do my workout.

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A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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69

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops