Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Carrot fingers

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest the host said "sorry no Professionals"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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