Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

What's brown and sticky? Anal

What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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