How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? Whatever their name is.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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why did the titanic sink, it was hit by a iceberg

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why did the mexican order a bean burrito? Because thats his favorite

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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What's woman spelled backwards? Sandwich-maker.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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