What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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women rights

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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4

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Relax, I said some pretty vile things to you when I thought you where a guy seducing me while it became ever more apparent that you where pretending to be me, thing is I often use this site to vent my frustrations and earning the "praise" in the form of red thumbs by the people. I wont say your name, but I know who you are now, the girl with the big red scared eyes, I mean how many one handed 27 year old`s do I know? I am in my early thirties, that`s all I am willing to share for now, If people come around trying to poke out my remaining eye, I am ready (my waifu, is at her mother`s place, she knows I am still a wanted target by, well some people here and there.

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Continents are large islands.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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