What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

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What's worst than a crying baby? A dead baby What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies What's worse than a pile of dead babies? If there's an alive one at the bottom What's worse that an alive baby in a pile of dead babies? If it has to eat its way out.

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lewis ya baggy fuck

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Q: What's black, blue, and dead? A: My wife after our fight last night.

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The homeless man first experience warmth....in Hell

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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