- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

There was once a boy who ate fire. He died of severe burns.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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