Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

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Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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What is mary short for? Mary had an accident with a semi-truck and had to get both of her legs amputated.

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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