A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

12

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

What did the camera man say when the actor took off his pants? Why did you take off your pants?

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

Pinus Testicles

What do Michael Jackson and Donkey Kong have in common? They're both famous.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

Why was the boy late for dinner? He got in the van.

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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