What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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Q: What's brown and looks like a weasel? A: A weasel.

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Why did the kid get out of school at twelve? He left early with a stomach ache

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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Y- You O- are L- such a O- Loser

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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