Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Women's rights.

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What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

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- Mom, you've got a banana in your ear. - Son I can't hear you I've got a banana in my ear!

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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DESERT

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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an athiest walks into a church

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

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tea with milk?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Your biggest fan.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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What did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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