Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

what makes reed stop talking? LYRENS SHARPENED PENCIL

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

What's sad about 5 black men falling off a cliff? The master has no slaves.

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because as an animal with legs it is highly capable of doing such as it pleases.

What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

what time is it? 3:16

What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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