What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops