Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Jeff goes to the store, Helen Keller.

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A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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