What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree it can hurt you? A pool table.

How much moss must a Moschops chop if a Moschops must chop moss?

Justin Bieber walked into a gay-bar, The whole world applauded.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

An Asian walks out of the library.

Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

wanna hear a joke? no.

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

What is it called when a Native American Indian man smacks a woman in the face for cheating on him? In police code it's called a "273D Domestic violence - Felony" most likely involving an insecure man with control problems simply adding to the stereotype that Native American's are drunk, abusive and domestically violent people.

How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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