Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

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whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

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How do you stop moles from digging in your garden? Take the shuvel away.

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How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops