They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

rose are red violets should be purple

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

What do flowers and people have in common? They both die.

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

What's the difference between urinating on Lady Gaga and the american flag? It would be wrong to urinate on the American flag.

When life gives you lemons make lemonade, when life gives you apples make apple juice, when life gives you cranberries make cranberrie juice and then when live gives you mangos, Eat them :)

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

Goku: KAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Freezebox: HOLY SHI... Narrator: Will Goku ever finish his attack? Will Freezebox stand there like a fucking bitch afraid for the next 48 damn epiodes rather than take a step to the side? Will the "Zee" fighters ever do anything else but comment the trucking obvious and stop aborting the show with their sweat? Find out in the next episode of... Moral: DRAGONBULL ZHIT!

An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

Knock knock Who is there Banana Banana who Knock knock Who's there Banana Banana who Knock knock WHO'S THERE orange ...orange who Orange you glad I'm a cop here to tell you your family died in a horrible mask murdering and didn't say bannana again?

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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