Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nematode's. A Nematode is a type of round worm that lives under water, and while most are carnivorous, some feed on vegetation, such as pineapples.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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knock knock how there me ok come in

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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what do you say to someone acting like an idiot? hey, if you keep acting like an idiot im gunna hit you with a freakin bat , you stupid fubu!

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Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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why did the chicken cross the road? There was a depletion of its natrual habitat due to deforistation and it was searching for a new home.

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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Why is John gay? Because he enjoys the penis

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate sex Especially with you

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Both my milk chocolate and my white chocolate are brown. Why? I crapped on my white chocolate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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