What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What do caterpillars fear most? Death.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Most of men think: the bigger dick they have, the more pleasure they can give to woman. Most of women don't thinks so, becouse they haven't got a dick.

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Three men stood before Saint Peter at the pearly white gates. They were then sent straight to Hell for committing mass suicide in hopes of reaching a higher state of being through a device located on a meteor.

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What items don't float? A school bus full of children

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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what do you call a retarded italian Niko

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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A kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans them up? A bear.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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How many people does it take to change a lightbulb? It depends on if the person has a lightbulb of the correct size and wattage...

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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