What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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LIE

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What did the girl say when the boy asked her out? Yes.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon nothing that was chuck norris's watermelon

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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