What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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haha, you're an orphan

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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knock knock who's there? Barbra Streisand Barbra Streisand who? Barbra? Streisand whoo oo oooo oo oo oo ooo ooo!

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Why did Billy get a 102% on his Algebra test? He got all of the questions correct including the bonus question. Oh, and he slept with the teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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