What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

the jokes are repetitive on this site

What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

I'm going to Re-write History... History

Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

So. The gays. ...

Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

poo poo you you doo doo too too

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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