What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

So a disabled man walks into a bar...

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

What rhymes with turtle? Rape

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

That's Racist

Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Chuck Norris.

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

A Banana wrote this...

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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