roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

A woman gets in her car to drive.

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

suck my dick.

Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

Looks through the peephole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...