if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

I am really good at math debating

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

Knock knock Who's there? FBI

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

i wish i was a tree !

...and I'm a Mormon.

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

Knock Knock Good one...

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

Miscarriages.

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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