Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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9:11 make a wish

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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a black guy leaves prison

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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