Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

whats worse than the holocaust??? finding it in your apple

W.N.B.A.

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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