When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "why that long face?" The horse, being a horse, thus not being able to comprehend the complexities of a conversation, says nothing and then shits on the floor.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

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Guess what? Chicken butt

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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How do you tell if your sister is on her period? Cause your dads dick tastes funny...

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Women's rights

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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johann grayson being liked

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

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A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

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A Christian and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says "What'll you two have to drink?" The Christian says "I'll have a beer." and get this, the Jew says................................"I'll have a beer too."

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops