- Anti Joke

I like to eat.

A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

Oh...okay, good.

A farmer goes out to the coop to feed the chickens. They're all dead.

there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

AROUND

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

Robin, get in the car.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

a black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving the car? the owner of the car.

Where must you go if you have the desire to eat somebody's face? A psychiatric ward. You are clearly going insane and must seek help.

Small breasts.

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

i like potatoes But only mashed baked are a little bad they arent tasty. I like food good because food bad can really hurt me

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

A black man walks into a bar, to get a drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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