Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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