a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Why did the man cross the inerstate? Well, he only got half way till he got hit by a truck, but he wanted to, it was suicide. oh ya, it wasnt a man it was a chicken. oh well. They are both dead.

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What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Asians...

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Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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knock knock go away

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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