Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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P0P T4Rt

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Q: What happened to Sally, did she get that cough checked out? A: She died while driving there and got in a 12 car pileup.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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Why didn't Hellen Keller just wear glasses? Oh wait

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my names jim haha

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops