A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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National security?

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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Ebola

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Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

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BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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ur left leg is cristmas nd ur right leg is thanks giving can i vist

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar and the bartender says, " OH MY GOD! YOU CAN WALK?!?!"

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Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops