Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

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why couldn't the boy use the computer He could i meant could

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Your Black, Im Black, We're all Black

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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