What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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Antijokes?! More like Antijakes!!!

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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so the weather's nice...

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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how did the man die he didnt

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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