An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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Knock Knock Whose there? A field full of mexicans A field full if mexicans who? F**k You

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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