A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

A priest and a rabbi are playing golf one weekend. The priest tees off first. When the rabbi steps up to tee off, it begins to rain heavily. Dismayed, the rabbi says, "I thought it there was only a 10% chance of rain today."

What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

The Colts this year.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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