A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Once upon a time, there was a ghost. The ghost was sneaking up on a little girl when she turned around and asked the ghost "Are you a stalker or something?" The ghost, unable to reply (being a ghost) was then kicked in the shins. The End!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A boy tells his teacher, "I want to be like hitler when I grow up and kill all the jews and one clown." The teacher replies, "Why the clown?" The boy says, "See no one cares about the jews."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the jewish boy afraid of ovens? because he developed an irrational fear of kitchen appliances. he would later, as an adult seek counseling and overcome his fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Hispanic, Jew and black man walk into a bar. The bartender tells them to get out because he's closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

That's about as suspicious as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Romeny or Obama? Obamney

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black man pick up a bucket of fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops