A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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There is a wire, Let's put it on fire, The fire spread so did your legs, Now were both lying dead on your bed.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, but the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk!

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Hail Heetluh

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Who you gonna call? Gobstoppers

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Q: What is worse than getting stung by a bee? A: Your breath. Please have a mint.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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How do you kill a black man? feed him mayonase

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops