What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

what do you call the head-less man sitting on your porch? By what ever his name is!!

If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

This is my favorite antijoke.

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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