There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Amazing

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Apple juice.

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Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

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Let me guess, you where really ready to Not not tell me that.

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

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your mom is so fat, she stepped on the scale and said, "I really need to eat better and I'm thinking about getting a gym membership." She did so, and she lost so much weight that all her friends congratulated her everywhere she went, and some didn't even recognize her.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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What do you call a not as grumpy Jewish man in his mid 30s? Danny. What do you call 5 of his best friends? Arin, Suzy, Barry, Ninja Brian, And Ross. Another possible answer to the 1st question is currently not married.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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