What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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FUCK YOU NEVEN

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What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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I like pancakes. I like pancakes. We have no pancakes

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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An Irish priest molested many children. He's still free today

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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