Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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Your moms so stupid she ate all the food in the grocery store

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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