How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What do you call two black men riding on a tandem bicycle? Best friends.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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